entering into the new

I was missing Adam's company in my urban exploration the last few days. 

 

School started and he plunged head first into the new water.  Cold as it was he amazed me by his adaptability and agility.  At night, before he falls asleep I hear snippets of his day.  No wish on his part to expand or even narrate -- just to state.  Free association is the name of our game in the late night hours--I dont ask and he tells.  

I hear about his new friends Philip from Australia, Helena from Ireland and Luca from Italy. The Czech girl is shy. He can't pronounce her name yet but likes her. Yuito from Japan is cool illustrator but does not talk much, and Shira the Israeli girl already mentions Yom Kipur and the high holidays -- which made me think about the worst place on earth for fasting.

But he continues to talk about Madam Gros who first tells the kids in detail what not to do and only at the end mentions briefly what to do.  It is different from the American Ms. Smith who only told them what to do and always with a smile.  Shaking the teacher's hand everyday when you part is weird to the old him but "kinda cool" to who he is now. The emphasis on neat long hand is something he will never understand when you can just type everything on the computer. And for the number 99 in french -- 4 time 20 plus 10 plus 9 -- it seem wonderfully crazy.  

And one more think just before I leave his bed; "Do you know ima, that french kids eat throughout the lunch hour while the rest finish quickly and go out to play.  And the last thing really," he promises "I love cheese for desert".

I think I am writing this before I go to sleep, just like Adam, to digest, to make sense, to integrate it all.

Here is something that requires digestion. We were invited to parents meeting.  Pete, who wanted to be involved with Adam's process, took the morning off and came to the meeting.  About 25 women and one other dad from California congregated in a mansion like home.  Many nationalities, accents, colors, heights and shapes were there, but one of the only common denominators I could identify was the shoes; an amazing selection of  unbelievable shoes. Pete surprised me when complimenting the simplicity of my shoes at the end of the event.  You noticed? I asked astonished "How can you not" he said matter of factly.  I knew Paris would be good for our relationship.  

  

We had espresso and hors d'oerves made by well known chef. If it was just a bit later then 9am I am sure some of the very old wine bottles on the shelf would be open.  Flyers made with contact numbers and web sites were circling simultaneously with trays of food, and the only people that seemed to be eating where the two dads.  

I raised my hand inspite of my invisible observer cloak I wear in these events and asked about the effect of giving kids their report cards in front of the whole class, suggesting we might be able to modified it for kids who come from a different systems.  The qustion was not clear at first and after few repetition the answer was "this is how you do it here". I was back to my comfortable silence -- thankful for the reminder to enter the new as it is and trust that my child would too.

And back to the discussion before my question -- the menu.  There was only one question that was less appropriate then mine or should I say a true Feux pas.  A mother, Italian if to judge by the accent, suggested the parents will cook for the kids on their birthdays at the school kitchen, to expose them to the diversity of foods.  After a very long silence, the school representative, dryly said: "Its impossible because of safety issues".  If you never knew how contempt looks like -- you would know by now. Safety, of coarse, was not defined, but clearly understood by the tone, inflection and sudden increase of the french accent.

No one asked any question after that and the discussion turned into a series of recommendations and explanations as to how things are done at EaB.  One of many suggestions, was to go to the school web site, find out what is the menu for the next day and discuss it with your child the night before or the morning of and help them get ready and excited for lunch.  We also learned about the "proposers".  People who walk around the cafeteria making suggestions for the kids to try foods they haven't touched, speak softly, eat slower and improve their table manners.

 We were then  advised not to speak French at home between us or with our child and to not check their homework all which will protect them from faulty  accents and grammatical mistakes.  We were assured that in a few months the child will teach us.

Yesterday morning before our 20 minutes walk to school, sipping my coffee while Adam secretly eats his american cereal breakfast I started to mention the menu.  He looked at me with a plea "Please not now Ima, it is too early " -- he read my mind -- I was just trying to do my parental homework. Tomorrow I will try to bring it up before Adam goes to sleep, maybe explain that what he calls "mook" is "Beigets de poisson souce gribiche" and the" inedible vegetable mush" is actually "Semoule et legumes" -- the only words I am allowed to pronounce in French.  Good luck.